I’m in your browser, floodin’ all ur senses!

Floods expert, Professor Ian Cluckie, told reporters: “People need to realise this is raw sewage they are walking around in. I’ve seen pictures of kids walking around in the flood water. For God’s sake don’t let them.”

I know a lot of people are simply oblivious to the world around them – every day on the london underground some jackass arrives on a tube platform via a narrow entrance, and stops dead, putting his bags down either side of him to completely block the entrance (so far I’ve resisted the urge to boot these morons in front of a train whilst yelling ‘look what you made me do’, but I can’t make any promises) – but I refuse to believe that anyone in Gloucester is unaware that they are knee-deep in shit. I think perhaps Professor Cluckie needs to consider that if your sofa is floating on a layer of brown goo, then stopping your offspring stepping in afformentioned goo may be unwelcome advice.

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