From the Guardian’s website:-
My general state of being is so chilled out that I make Indian Yogis look like agitated psychopaths with sunstroke who have drunk too much espresso on an empty stomach. This delicate calm is broken by only two things. One is people who write your instead of you’re, although this only keeps me awake at night. The other is the misuse of the word literally.
For fuck’s sake, you’re a journalist who is being paid to write words. If you claim to be a writer and the meaning of the word ‘literal’ is beyond your grasp, it makes me despair to the point that I consider staying indoors, kicking myself in the bollocks until our inevitable nuclear apocalypse finally arrives.
You’re like an electrician who uses a hairdryer in the shower. Or an abortionist who uses the withdrawal method of ‘contraception’. Or a self-harming haemophiliac. Or a one-armed drummer… oh.. wait…