I try to see Cyan but I only see red


I pick up the Metro every day because I love the Nemi cartoon. In fact I have a bit of a crush on the chica with the blue hair. Is it wrong to fancy cartoon characters? I don’t know, but if it’s wrong, then I don’t want to know what’s right. An angry mob armed with pitchforks and burning effigies, outraged at the idea of union between man and ink could capture me and burn me in the town square, and I would not recant my affections for Cyan until the flames were melting my flesh.

I digress. After checking out the cartoon strips, I invariably turn to the letters page. It’s like picking a scab. Actually, it’s like stabbing a scab with a pair of scissors then rubbing vinegar into the seeping wound. It’s where thick and ignorant morons parade their stupidity and small-mindedness. The ever increasing insanity of the mythical Department of Political Correctness is drawn to my attention with particular frequency, and the “hang ’em, flog ’em, bring back national service, send ’em back where they came from” brigade are well represented. I suppose I must confess I find encountering such alien opinions exhilerating. It’s like watching Dawn and Rocco – Rocco is so fantastically ugly that I can’t take my eyes off him. 

Today, the Metro letters page set a new record. The bar of stupidity has been set so high that I don’t think it will ever be topped. The words?

“Roll on the Police State”
– Norman Burton, Middlesex.

I wonder if this is the only country on earth where people think having basic liberties is a bad thing.


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