Happy For Me – Fuck You – Klack-Klack – Stop Me


Bonfire night always gets me riled up about drug laws. Why is marijuana against the law? No-one has ever died because they smoked marijuana. People who are high on THC don’t start fights outside pubs. It’s not physically addictive, and whilst I don’t have the figures to hand, I’m disinclined to believe theories about people turning to crime to fund their cannabis supply.

I’m also tired of hearing about how the stuff today is so much stronger than the stuff the Government minsters smoked in the 70s. Sure, skunk’s pretty potent, but most people don’t drink whisky by the pint, and if anything, prohibition has facilitated the preference for people to sell domestically grown chemically adulterated weed over organic hashish – there’s less risk to the dealer if he grows rather than imports.

I find it frustrating that it’s an issue in the first place. Don’t we own our own bodies? Who is anybody to tell me I can’t imbibe a plant? Who is the victim of this crime? In the tactless words of Doug Stanhope, “It’s my fucking business, and if it kills me slowly, happy for me, fuck you, *klack-klack*, stop me!”

I know possesion of a small amount isn’t much of a crime these days, and confiscation with a verbal warning isn’t on a level with a 2-stretch in Belmarsh, but it’s this time of year that it upsets me still. Why? Well, I’m reminded that it is perfectly legal for me to buy an UNLIMITED QUANTITY OF EXPLOSIVES (as long as they’re in a box marked ‘Fireworks’) that will terrorise every dog, cat and geriatric within a 2 mile radius of my home in the name of entertainment for people who are easily excited. Isn’t that bizarre? Let’s consider this again…

Buy compressed plant resin, take it home to smoke in the privacy of your living room whilst enjoying a glass of wine and a book – ILLEGAL.

Buy some explosives, take them home, blow them up at your leisure, scaring the shit out of anything with a tail – LEGAL.

Freedom, I love it!

Another thing that puzzles me – Why is it that whenever politicians admit to having smoked marijuana, they claim that they only tried it once or twice, and that it had no effect on them anyway? Isn’t it a remarkable co-incidence that Tetrahydrocannabinol seems to have no effect on the brains of politicians? Shouldn’t this apparent immunity to a well documented chemical process be a matter of scientific enquiry?

Regardless of the cause of this unfotunate immunity, it’s a shame they’re missing out. Moderate users enjoy an alterered state of consciousness that facilitates creative thought, the suppression of the ego and encourages positive and novel activities such as painting, writing or making music. Sufferers of cancer, especially those undergoing chaemotherapy enjoy relief from pain and nausea. Nasty symptoms of multiple sclerosis such as muscle spasms are reduced. Epilepsy sufferers who use cannabis have less frequent and less severe seizures. Glaucoma sufferers find the pressure in their eyeballs is reduced if they ingest cannabis. And yet, still…


One Response to Happy For Me – Fuck You – Klack-Klack – Stop Me

  1. Nas says:

    “Buy some explosives, take them home, blow them up at your leisure, scaring the shit out of anything with a tail – LEGAL.”

    are we including geriatrics as “anything with a tail”??

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