I I I My My My ’07

January

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It snowed. I stayed true to my belief that humans are meant to hibernate by staying indoors and reading the John Irving novels ‘Until I Find You’, ‘A Prayer for Owen Meany’ and ‘The World According to Garp’. They’re all wonderful.

February

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Me and Nas went to Barcelona. The food was disappointingly crappy, it was really noisy, and the sense of shambolic chaos was everywhere. For example, people sell caged animals on Las Ramblas and one day I saw a stall-owner chasing an escaped hen around. He had a big moustache and a foul-smelling cigarillo dangling from his mouth while he cursed at the hen in rapid, mumbled Catalan. I loved it.

Simin & Ade-o got married. I was the best-man, and arranged a rather pathetic stag-do, although I was fighting an uphill battle as the groom, despite being Australian, doesn’t have much of a taste for alcohol. However, the sleepless nights I spent re-drafting my speech paid off as everyone seemed to roflao. My opening gag – “This isn’t a shotgun wedding. Since he’s been in England, the only thing the groom’s knocked up has been two sets of shelves and a bookcase”. Har, and indeed, har.

Jesse James did lots of shitty weekend gigs and I grew disillusioned with the fun factor of me and Ben’s necessarily passive-aggressive logistical arrangements of getting to and from van hire premises in Wembley. No matter what the plan, I always seemed to return to my flat at 4am on Monday mornings, lugging all my gear up to the 6th floor and going to work four hours later. This is the end of me playing gigs part-time. It’s all or nothing, motherfuckers. These were the warm-up shows for a ‘proper’ tour… This is me utterly exhausted after a hectic weekend. My watch says 4am. My face agrees.

March – We All Did It Together


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The vaguely depressing realisation that I was plastering on a fake smile and ploughing through it all yet again was alleviated by tour sponsors Jägermeister, which put everyone in an upbeat ‘last blast’ mood, and stopped me from kicking kids in the face every time they yelled out “PLAY SHOEZ AGAIN!!111!”

In statistical terms, T won the wrestling tournament, P drank the most wine, B drove the most miles, I smoked the most dope, D had the most piss taken out of him, G threw the most strops and PC looked sickliest. In retrospect, I wish our tour posters had depicted us literally flogging a dead horse.

April

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I took the piss out of my employer by taking some more time off work to go to Devon to recover from the physical and mental battering of the previous weeks. My Dad, a former RAF-man, blew the dust off his pilot license & hired us a light aircraft to have a near-death experience in.

May

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JJ Euro tour – We Didn’t All Do It Together
The spirit of this little jaunt was described during my tenure as guest blogger at rememberthisdayforever. This entry in particular reminded me that writing words is fun, and planted the seeds that led to this site.

June

I turned 28. I’m borderline-aspergers enough to be delighted at being a perfect number, with 28 being the sum of its factors:
(1+2+4+7+14)

I also bought a Wii and played a lot of golf. My Nintendo character is an alarmingly close likeness.

mii.jpg

July

Richard Dawkins disabused me of any remaining delusions of God I may have had. I fear that he’s pissing in the wind. I discovered that Buddhism closely matches my opinion on what’s going on around here. Not dressing in orange and shaving my head just yet, but…

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JJ played their final show at the Mighty Sounds festival in the Czech Republic. After being haplessly rude to Neil’s sister and her Czech husband in the backstage area, it struck me that I insult people I don’t know without meaning to on an alarmingly frequent basis. Later in the year I would tell a petite young woman dressed in green that she reminded me of a leprechaun within 2 minutes of meeting her. What a prick.

August

Merlin got married, it rained a lot and I spent a lot of time in the gym banishing my spaghetti arms.

September

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Nas turned 30 and we went to Dublin to drink Guinness.

I declared my commandments to mankind to great fanfare and pondered the inevitability of violent confrontation to resolve oligopolies in the provision of sandwiches for the wage-slaves of WC2.

October

I spent a self-absorbed month recording music and reading a lot of books.

November

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I got the lurgy and moped about. Normally I get S.A.D, but this year, perhaps due to the rubbishness of summer, I enjoyed the beautiful autumn.

I went to lovely (but astonishingly cold) Amsterdam with a load of girls and managed to find my way around without getting lost. I could get lost in a bedsit, and considering Amsterdam is a particularly disorientating city I’m quite pleased with myself.

December

I slobbed about playing Super Mario Galaxy. It’s such a joy to behold.

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3 Responses to I I I My My My ’07

  1. mieke says:

    the leprechaun had it coming. bitch.

  2. recoder says:

    yeah, maybe social tourettes is subconsciously knowing that some people are fuckheads and slapping them down in advance, thus saving time and effort.

  3. Pete says:

    An enertaining summary!

    Happy new year

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