Snorkelling is a far more complicated affair than I could have imagined. You can clear your mask if it fills up without taking it off, you can dive to depths of ten metres then clear your snorkel without fully surfacing, and you can be attacked by big fish.
It never occured to me that you need to be wary of big fish that aren’t sharks. Which is why, when I spotted an enourmous grey gill-breather, I followed it with all the gusto of Steve Irwin, while he was still living and full of caffeine.
I was, I am told, lucky to escape with my toes. It was a Trigger fish, a variety of piscine unfriendly to humans during their season of courtship.
Perhaps when George Dubya Bush infamously expressed his belief that man and fish could one day peacefully co-exist, he wasn’t being quite as oafish as many thought. Perhaps he’d recently been snorkelling, and antagonised a Trigger fish.