Eat Fresh, Believe in Better

I know exactly how modern advertising slogans work – verb adjective. That’s all there is to it. Common examples:

Subway – Eat Fresh
Peugeot – Drive Sexy
Sky TV – Believe in Better
Lipton Infusions – Drink Gorgeous
Evian – Live Young

Meaningless drivel. Here are some suggestions for any desperate soul-destroyers searching for ideas on Google. You’re welcome!

Match.com – Destroy Lonely
Pets At Home – Demand Furry
Ryanair – Fly Angry
Apple – Compute Expensive
Volvo – Park Shittily

Please feel free to add your own slogans in the comments box.

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12 Responses to Eat Fresh, Believe in Better

  1. mieke says:

    You do realise good copywriters get paid shitloads of money to come up with that crap right? I’d kill for a job like that, but I’d kill for any job that isn’t crippling in one form or another at this point…

  2. keef says:

    With skillz like those you could write snappy online advertisements!

    This reminds me of when I sat through a long presentation about ‘Lifes for sharing’ (T-Mobile). Afterwards I carried a nice 32 inch lcd telly out of the room. Thanks dudes.

    Match.com is ‘make love happen’. They even guarantee it! I wonder if you could get a copywriter to write a profile. Keef – Believe in better! Or maybe eat fresh? Oh dear

  3. ben says:

    IKEA – furnish shoddy

    the production on the new Wildhearts does sound pretty tasty, even at that lo bit rate, but it’s hard to judge a Wildhearts song by a clip, when it’s all about the middle 8 break down/’play the riff as many different ways as you can think of’ sections. i’m not buying it though.

  4. alison says:

    “I dread ending up as an advertising copywriter”

    FUUUUUUCK YOOOOOU!

  5. recoder says:

    Keef: Your Heart Thief.
    Alison: You don’t churn out mindless slogans though, do you?

  6. Amardeep says:

    iPhone – Surf Smugly
    Top Gear – Drive Cunt
    Stella Artois – Punch Furiously

  7. Amardeep says:

    U2 – Listen to shit!

  8. recoder says:

    Amardeep, I thank you for your excellent contributions. I heard the new single ‘If I can’t go crazy tonight’ on tv the other day and honestly thought it was a parody of U2.

  9. Amardeep says:

    They are just a horrible band and should just fuck off!

    KFC – Eat Mutant!

  10. ox says:

    Andrex – shit comfortable

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