Season’s greetings from the Bramley family

Dear all,

This year we thought we’d jump on the Christmas letter bandwagon, as it seems such a charming way to keep in touch.

Harry’s prospects looked grim at the start of the year. ‘Too big to fail’ is our new family motto – thank heavens for the bailout! The other bank executives had started to move their funds to overseas accounts, but Harry took a more dignified approach by trusting his assets to the British property market.

We moved the family home to Bedfordshire, but Harry’s retaining a little 3-bed place in Docklands to save money on commuting. He sleeps there Monday to Friday, although he says it’s nothing more than a ‘crash pad’.

No wonder he’s had to take on a girl to keep the place clean. He says she’s expensive, but she’ll come round at short notice. In fact, he said that if everyone was as flexible as Lithuanian girls, Britain would be in much better shape!

Harry economised further by taking advantage of that new
car-scrapping scheme: he handed over the keys to his old BMW and picked himself up a new Mercedes. He made some cost projections, and it turns out we’re saving money in the long-run, as the fuel consumption is lower.

At first he was happy to have done something for the environment, but since that business with the fraudulent university scientists, he’s taken to lighting both patio heaters for thirty minutes every time he hears the words ‘global warming’. “On principle”, he says!

But the new family home is lovely, even if I do have it to myself much of the time. So nice to be out of dreadful London once and for all. The lifestyle is so much better in the country, and the children have a greater chance of enjoying a ‘white’ Christmas (nudge, wink).

Speaking of the children, Sebastian took up his place at Griffington Boys’ School in September. He is showing considerable academic promise, although there’s no indication yet whether he’ll gravitate towards law or accountancy.

I suspect law. He possesses a fierce sense of justice. Apparently, there are some boys in his year who won scholarships on no basis other than their ability to string a tune together on a musical instrument!

Sebastian isn’t one to suffer freeloaders gladly, so he and some other boys have developed an informal priority system for the dining and bathing facilities which they implement at their discretion.

Jemima has finished her media course and is considering her career options. Her end-of-term project was to write and produce a ‘pilot’ episode of a television programme. She came up with something about fashion, in which she interviewed all her friends! The project turned out so well that she’s pitching it to one of those new digital channels, but it’s still early days. There are reasons to be optimistic though; her tutor said it was ‘an astonishing piece of work’, and that in 20 years of teaching, he’d ‘never seen anything quite like it’!

Not only that, but she’s thought up an iPhone application called iWear, which cross-references images on the Perez Hilton website with the BBC’s weather application to suggest the optimal outfit for any given moment.

Well, that’s the latest from the Bramleys! Better sign off now. Wishing you a very merry Christmas and best wishes for the new decade.


Jan x


One Response to Season’s greetings from the Bramley family

  1. mieke says:

    i always knew there was an obnoxious middle aged lady lurking inside you somewhere.

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