Making measurements

tape measureThe post comes through the letterbox just as I’m leaving the flat this morning. Among the bills, payslips, pizza delivery flyers and minicab business cards on the doormat is a little package covered in Chinese writing. It’s a tiny Jiffy bag and the postmark is Hong Kong. The customs sticker says ‘Electronics’. It’s addressed to my partner.

I shout up the stairs: “Honey, are you expecting something from Hong Kong?”
She replies “Oh, my tape measure!” Of course.

This is what happened: she needed a tape measure, but wanted to get one cheaply, with no physical effort. So she bought this tape measure on eBay. It cost £1, delivery included. And it got delivered from Hong Kong. Think about that: the cheapest and easiest way to get a TAPE MEASURE is to get it FLOWN OVER from CHINA. Our species is completely fucked.

Me: ‘If I was worried about climate change, I’d wonder about the carbon footprint of that tape measure.”
Her: “Well it didn’t fly over on its own plane!”

I suppose that’s fair. A flight attendant didn’t have to check it was wearing a seatbelt and offer it an inedible midair meal; the plane it came over on would definitely have flown anyway without it. But still. We buy tape measures from Hong Kong.

Video in plain view

Nearly two years ago me and Guy Dixon recorded 12 songs in 6 days at his house in Syresham. It turned out pretty good, I uploaded it to this site and a couple of hundred people downloaded it. We went slightly crazy doing it. We recorded bits of video throughout and he recently edited it into something watchable. It’s very self-indulgent, but if you have an interest in recording you might enjoy it.


5 Responses to Making measurements

  1. mieke says:

    good thing i wanted to comment on how since you’re not having kids you can really crank up the carbon footprint (seriously, get a hummer, you will STILL not have as large a carbon footprint as people who have kids, just ask stanhope ūüėČ so fly in everything you can (though i’m pretty sure you can buy a 4 pack of measuring tapes for 50p at pretty much any corner shop in london, that’s where i got mine anyway), or i wouldn’t have noticed the redesign: nice!

  2. Nas says:

    but going to the cornershop would mean leaving the house. Leaving the house = evil.

  3. pete485 says:

    Mental to consider, isn’t it.

    Looking round the fruit and veg in the supermarket elicits a similar sense of impotent bafflement in me.

  4. Keef says:

    Don’t tell me nas puts up the shelves

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